African Hottie Came Thru

She was her usual brilliant self. It was all her, she didn’t really need me. I was just playing the basic chords over and over. But to the untrained observer, it looked like I was playing with verve and skill. She made me look like an accomplished pianist, just like Mom used to do.Roberta played ever more complex riffs on the Deck the Halls theme, but still maintained a singable meter, so the audience was able to sing along, which they did with gusto. She finished with a colorful flourish, and there was another round of thunderous applause, accompanied by many calls of “Bravo! Bravo!”She waited for the hall to return to relative quiet before taking the mic again.“Many of you know that our mother was French,” Roberta said, speaking with a wacky cinematic French accent. This brought forth gales of laughter from the audience. “She was born Marie-Aude Thérèse de Rustéphan and studied medieval literature in Paris. She was a poor girl with a long name and a ruined château …” More laughter.. “But you have the gold?”“Yes.”“Can I see it?”We trooped over to Jim’s.There, we showed her the sacks.“Show me,” Abbie said.I pointed.“Idiot!” she said. “The gold!”So Jim picked up a representative sack, put it in one of his black bins, untied it and gestured.Abbie looked.“Holy Shit!”We both nodded.She snapped her fingers at me. I gave her a look.“Your phone.”“Use yours.”“You gave her a phone?” Jim asked. “Why don’t you just...”“Shut up, Jim!”“What?” said Abbie.“Never mind,” I said.“What?”“He gets weird ideas.”She looked at Jim.While her back was turned, I shook my head frantically.“My service sucks,” she said.“You gave her a phone with shitty service?” Jim asked. “You didn’t get her Telstra?”I handed her my phone.She punched in a number.“Most revered grandfather,” She started to say.“Grandfather?” I spluttered. “You said...”She drew a finger across her throat ... I squealed to a stop.With her back to us she began to speak in a tongue I didn’t know. This went on for a couple of.
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